Friday, April 3, 2009

It's Easier Being Out Than In

If you're like me you're someone who really appreciates getting R and R on the weekend. After the mostly positive events that happened to me this week, I'm definitely hoping I can recuperate. I thought I'd post just a few notes of interest:

1. Since overcoming my largest two hurdles of late by coming out to two V.I.P.'s in my life, it seems like every corner I turn an opportunity springs forth allowing me to share my story with more people. In all, this week I've spoken with eight people I work with or am acquainted with about me. And after speaking to each one, the ease with which I opened up to them seemed to increase.

They say it's so much easier being out than in. I'm finally beginning to experience and believe that. After fearing the potentially negative consequences that so many others have experienced, I'm counting blessings each and every day.

2. I began communicating with an old friend from a church I used to attend. She is a remarkable woman who has managed to raise her children and stay married through the most difficult odds. I have watched her toil through many obstacles in her life while always remaining compassionate and caring, and desiring to follow God as best as she knows.

In addition to explaining that "for me, this is much more than just wanting to 'dress like a lady,'" this recent discussion has opened the door for us to discuss how our lack of understanding causes us to react in a not-so-Christlike fashion. I have a lot more to share here later, but long ago I found out she had a brother-in-law who came out to her as trans. He reached out to her because he believed she could help others understand who she was and possibly even help her transition. This brother-in-law's life came to a tragically short end when she died from an illness, sadly going to the grave without ever realizing the fruition of her self awareness and authenticity. I'll share more on this because there is much to learn about our fear and intolerance of that which we don't really understand, influencing even generally the most loving people to withdraw their compassion on someone in need.

Despite my hope for rest and relaxation this weekend, I'm not so sure I'll be getting it. I had hoped to visit a friend who will be in Phoenix this weekend, but other obligations will keep me from that. At the very minimum I'm looking forward to spending a Sunday afternoon with several new friends I've gained recently. I've mentioned them here before, and they are even more incredible than when I first met them.

It has always been my hope that my blogging about the ups and downs of this rollercoaster life has helped someone in some way. For me, I have the opinion that if I can somehow help even one person in something I write, that's all the reward I need. Since stepping foot on Transition Road, the number of friends I've gained and the support I've received is truly a treasure chest of precious jewels and pearls to me.

Remember that. You are precious.

7 comments:

Stephanie said...

I do wish everyone could understand that. Being 'out' takes all the burden of fear off of you. There is an ease that comes with that. And besides. No skeletons in the closet means more room for clothes! ...Hmmm, a birthday shopping trip. I'll be back later! Love ya!

pe1biv said...

Seems it will be a busy but most likely a good and rewarding weekend..

Hugs, Angela

VĂ©ronique said...

I'm glad that more and more you are experiencing the joy of not having to keep secrets. And not having to pretend to be male! Good on you!

NickyB (aka the CFG) said...

seems like you got some amazing friends there Lori!...enjoy your weekend!! xx

Leslie Ann said...

Lori, rest assured that your writing has made a difference for this rank amateur. Every success you share helps me embrace the idea that being comfortable in your own skin, being real, is indeed possible. Thanks, beautiful!

naomi said...

Lori, it is so true that 'out' is better than 'in'. Last night i came out to my wife of over 20 years. her initial reaction, god lover her, was "thank heavens it's not something bad!" we still have some things to work through of course, but i feel lighter already.

Dana Smith said...

It truly is better to be out then in. For me, my transition from being part-time to full-time was, in many ways, out of my hands. It just sort of happened. Yeah, it wasn't easy, but it was SOOO worth it. I'm glad your taking your time, and doing it in your own pace. I had to run to catch up with where my transition was taking me. Best of luck though girl. Take care.