Change IS Possible (My life in pictures)

In the course of the last few years when I transitioned my body and the world I was living in, I've had much fear, worry, and doubt that change for me would ever be possible.  Close friends will account for me that I spent many dysphoric, sleepless nights wondering just how it could be possible to navigate through the mess that is transition.  Some would disagree with me and call it a "beautiful journey," but even though I found reasons to smile through  many days that went by, transition was an ugly, chaotic, nightmarish mess.  But it didn't stay that way, and I knew it would not be that way forever.  Perhaps that's what kept me going through it all.  I knew change WAS possible.

Maybe you're in the same place I was ten years ago.  I had a passion for life, I loved my new family and had a job I thoroughly enjoyed.  I was a worship leader at a small church where I witnessed God do many powerful things in people's lives.  Heck, I'd even go one step further and say I saw what some would describe as miracles happening in the craziest of circumstances.  But no matter how hard I prayed for God to take it away, I knew I had always been different, and I sensed God allowed this to happen to me for a reason.  So I worked as hard as I could to hide it, and I focused on my other passions including music and hiking.  (Blogging wasn't around then, ha!)

Maybe you're in the same place I was four years ago.  Years of denial and dysphoria finally brought me to a place  mentally where something had to give, and I knew precisely what that would entail for me - seeking help, the first step.  With the help of my wife, I sought counseling and wanted to do things "the right way" as much as possible.  Sure I was tempted to jump the gun and purchase hormones from some unknown pharmacy in England, but that was too risky and I wasn't looking for trouble when I seemed to be able to find piles of trouble weekly.   I also showed up to support groups, made new friends, and truly searched my heart and the Good Book to find out what God really intended for me.  Soon enough, with my counselor's referral and an endocrinologist's consent, I began taking hormone replacement therapy in a small dose at first.  The rest, well you know what they say, is history.

I didn't so much as want to write a lengthy tell-all, too-long-didn't read (TLDR) post to prove to you all that change, any change, is indeed possible.  Instead, I decided I would be better off showing you through a few rare pictures of the old me that you can make it through this, or whatever it is you might be going through.  You might not even be going through the transition from one sex to another but through some really challenging period in your life where you just can't see the end of the tunnel.  Trust me, I remember all too well what that feels like, and something inside me kept me going through one more day (insert hokey Wilson-Phillips audio clip here).   Soon enough I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, and now I look back and see the tunnel's exit from a not to far off  distance.  I know there'll be other struggles I'll face in the future, but for now, my life has recently been relatively drama-free, and I count my blessings that I'm alive more than I've ever been before.  I know someday it'll all be over and I'll leave this world too.  I just hope that I made a difference in this world; that I found my purpose and proved that change was possible, and that I inspired a little bit of hope into someone's life. 

 ( a photo I took today for this post)